“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche
I am heartbroken for so many reasons lately. I realize that
they all have a common factor: Trust
That big nasty word that encircles me every day… five
letters that make me quiver.
I have to trust people at their face value. But what happens
when they break your trust.
Can you really give that person benefit of the doubt next
time? The answer is no. You will always find yourself doubting them; every word
they say. You might not catch yourself doing it but you are. Even right now as
you read my words I am reminding you of that one time when I let you down.
Judge me not, fair friends, readers and other random people…
I am not alone
I am not some goddess of always being truthful. But I have
never intentionally hurt someone. I learned a long time ago that even though
honesty can hurt, the lie hurts so much worse. Eventually people will
appreciate your candid answers or learn to stop asking you questions.
Trust is terribly hard in all relationships: love,
friendship, work.. hell, even driving! You have to trust the person next to you
has insurance in case they decide they like your lane more than yours. It’s
more disappointing to learn that lover has been dishonest than learning your
fellow driver doesn’t have insurance. For some reason we get over the fact that
other people are irresponsible pricks but never fully get over the hurt that
one lover/friend has done to us. Sure we might ‘forgive’ them but you are
always left wondering if your next lover will stray or your other friends have
been lying to you.
What I am trying to say is - in most things you have to trust. Or you will
drive yourself into a paranoid mess.
Much love and healing to you all.
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