(I had written this for Open Stage but got too scared paying attention to the negative thoughts and backed out. So here it is)
Some words, when spoken, can’t be taken back – Pearl Jam Nothingman
“They’re just words”, she said.
“These are the same words you say to me. Which words do not mean anything? The ones you said to them or the ones you say to me?”
Nothing you say or can say to anyone are ‘just words’. Your words carry meaning to those who care about you. They carry weight to those who listen.
The worst words hurt more than physical harm. I would much rather be punched in the face repeatedly than ever hear another bad opinion of me. They are just opinions. Hell, they are not even opinions. They are other people trying to make you feel horrible about yourself because they are not good at something. Jealousy, Hurt, whatever it is. They are not right unless you let them be.
Yet, those words that should not matter stick around forever. According to the demons in my life I am:
Good for nothing
Will never amount to anything
Shouldn’t have children
Cheater (when it comes to weight loss)
No matter what the good voices tell you, the bad ones stick around forever. I hear them in the voices of everyone who has said them and every time I try to do something new. “Stupid, stupid, stupid.. why do you even bother? You’re just going to get fat again. No one actually cares about you. They are only friends with you because you are friends with _______. You don’t deserve to be loved. “
Ahh the downward hate spiral begins. I get angry. Then I get pissed at myself for being angry. THEN i get mad at myself for allowing myself to be pissed at myself for being angry.. Until it's too late and I'm lost in the words that cause me any doubt.
The best words can make you fly; Soar in your thoughts, feel like the queen of your world (and everyone elses). I love these words. I try to share them with random strangers. “You are beautiful” is one of my favorite compliments to give women.
And although these never stick around long enough to drown out the others..
Loved more than I know
I leave you with this wish. Say something kind to someone you know. Be kind to strangers. Compliment strangers without fear (they appreciate it).